EXT. SCENIC DIRT ROAD - DAY MIKE runs along a dirt back-road, soaked in blood, stripped to his boxers, in a blind panic. Not a structure or a human being is in sight. Nothing but fields and scenic landscape as far as the eye can see. He comes to a cross-roads and briefly pauses, turning to look down each lane before choosing to go right, and continuing his run. EXT. ROAD - DAY A car driven by FRANCIS pulls up to the same crossroads. Francis stops momentarily, before engaging the turn signal and veering off to the right. Continuing his drive. EXT. ROAD - DAY Mike spies two men working in a field off in the distance. MIKE Oh, God. Thank you. Thank God! Mike approaches the two men. MIKE (CONT'D) Holy shit, I'm so glad to see you guys. You have to help me. This fucking lunatic kid-napped me and six other people. He killed all of them and tried to drown me in a feed troth full of their blood. I got away after he passed out from huffing gas, but I think he's after me. You have to do something! The two men only stare blankly. MIKE (CONT'D) Please tell me one of you speaks English. GUY 1 Undskylde mig? MIKE What the fuck? What... Guy 1 starts shaking his head violently. He motions toward Mike, then to his friend, who also begins shaking his head. GUY 1 Ingen! MIKE What are you- GUY 1 Ingen! INGEN! MIKE I don't speak Danish! Both of the men start picking up rocks and throwing them at Mike. MIKE (CONT'D) Quit it! They don't quit it. MIKE (CONT'D) Fuck you guys! Mike turns and runs off once more. MIKE (CONT'D) FUCK! EXT. ROAD - DAY Francis pulls up in front of the two field workers and rolls down his window. FRANCIS Hey, fellas. Have either of you, perchance, seen a naked man, running around out here, barefoot, covered in blood, screaming....? Both men stare at Francis for a beat before they simultaneously raise their arms and point in the direction Mike ran. EXT. ROAD - DAY Mike still runs. He hears a car approaching from the distance behind him. MIKE No. No, no, no.... NO!! Mike hastens his sprint, tearing down the road like a bat out of hell, but all in vain. Moments pass before Francis pulls next to him and slows his vehicle to jogging speed, he pulls to Mike's right and rolls down his window. FRANCIS Morning, Randolph! MIKE Fuck off! Stop calling me that! FRANCIS Stop being called that. MIKE That's...fuck you! FRANCIS Come on, man, this is pointless. You can't outrun a Subaru. Not even a gazelle could outrun a Subaru. MIKE That's not even a Subaru. FRANCIS Maybe not now it isn't. MIKE Just leave me alone. I won't tell anyone, I promise. Haven't you done enough to me already? FRANCIS Done enough?! What have I done?! MIKE You kidnapped me with six other people and then tried to drown me in a feed troth full of their blood! FRANCIS ...Maybe that was touch extreme. Mike just laughs and shakes his head. FRANCIS (CONT'D) What do you want from me, bro? I was fucking zany on fumes, it seemed like an important experiment to perform. MIKE Important for who? FRANCIS Everyone? MIKE Now I probably have an STD from all the blood in my lungs. FRANCIS Actually one of them did have HIV, they told me. MIKE Seriously?! FRANCIS Just kidding! I don't know if any of them had HIV, but I wore gloves for a reason. MIKE God, you're an ass-hole. FRANCIS Hey now, name calling isn't going to win you a ticket aboard the not drowning-in-AIDS-blood express, my friend. Mike keeps his eyes forward, running straight ahead. FRANCIS (CONT'D) Where are you even trying to go? Mike points forward. FRANCIS (CONT'D) I had you pegged as a runner from the beginning, but still, your cardio is impressive. Your calves must be killing you. MIKE The burn is mostly in my glutes. FRANCIS Yeah, I bet. So, what do you say we put our differences aside and- MIKE Fuck off! FRANCIS French Toast!? MIKE What? FRANCIS Let's go grab some breakfast. French toast. My treat. MIKE It's a trick! FRANCIS Me? Trick you? My good friend Rudolph? MIKE It's Randolph! FRANCIS My mistake. MIKE Give me my clothes back. FRANCIS You mean my clothes? MIKE You stole them from me! FRANCIS I actually threw your pants away because they didn't fit, but this shirt? It's like wearing clouds. MIKE What about my shoes? FRANCIS Tossed em'. MIKE Jesus Christ. FRANCIS My bad. Mike continues jogging, his pace now slowing. He gives Francis the silent treatment. FRANCIS (CONT'D) Dude! French Toast! Who could say 'no' to that? Mike points at himself. Francis abruptly swerves toward Mike. Mike leaps out of the way, almost falling over. MIKE What the shit?! Francis laughs, and does it again, and once more. MIKE (CONT'D) Cut it out! FRANCIS Do you think I want to be in this position any more than you do? MIKE I don't even have skin on my feet anymore! FRANCIS Then you shouldn't have run away! MIKE I'm covered in other people's blood. Flies keep landing on me and getting stuck in it and dying. I'm covered in human blood and dead animals. Do you have any idea what that's like? FRANCIS Sounds like the world's saddest bukkake. Mike stumbles and falls, screaming in agony. FRANCIS (CONT'D) Oh, snap! Francis pulls his car over and gets out. He approaches Mike and leans over him. FRANCIS (CONT'D) Are you Ok? MIKE I pulled a hammy. FRANCIS Saw that coming. Francis offers his hand to help Mike up. Mike takes it and stands, leaning against the car for support. FRANCIS (CONT'D) Mike, we need to end this silly game between us. Nobody has anything to gain from it. Look, you see that? Francis points into the car, gesturing toward a layer of towels laid over the passenger side seat. FRANCIS (CONT'D) I already put towels down for you. There's water, and neosporin, and tylenol, and band-aids for your feet and trail mix. Not to mention a big plate of French Toast with your name written on it, in syrup and powdered sugar. Mike stands. He looks at Francis, then into the car, then down the road. FRANCIS (CONT'D) How much longer can you run for? Nobodies going to find you out here. MIKE It's a trick... FRANCIS Whether it is or not, it's a trick you have nothing to lose by falling for. If I wanted to kill you, I'd have just run you over and kicked your body into a ditch. Which I could still do. A pounding noise is heard from the trunk of the car. Mike looks at it in alarm, Francis doesn't seem to notice. MIKE Do you have somebody in the trunk? Francis holds up two fingers. FRANCIS Dos. MIKE Who? FRANCIS Couple of D-bags I nabbed a ways back down the road. MIKE Danish? FRANCIS I'd guess yeah. MIKE Fuck those guys. FRANCIS I bet one of them has a pair of shoes that'll fit... Mike lets out a brief chuckle. Francis laughs and pats him on the back. FRANCIS (CONT'D) Hop in, partner! Restaurants won't be serving breakfast for much longer. Mike shrugs and walks around to the passenger side door. FRANCIS (CONT'D) Just make sure you sit on the towels, though. This is a Subaru.
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