EXT. STREETS - DAY DETECTIVE DANIALS pulls up in a sedan and parks at the curb outside of GEORGE'S house. Danials is wearing a cheap suit and BADASS AVIATOR SUNGLASSES. He exits his car, and walks to the front door. He takes off his sunglasses, badassily. INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY George and Detective Daniels stand across from one and other in George's living room. George is silk robe and slippers. The room is a mess. It looks as though it has been ransacked, but was once plain and unassuming. It only houses a cabinet, a muddy couch and a TV. Danials has a note-pad and pen in his hands, he is quickly jotting things down as they converse. DANIALS So the man knocked on your door, put a gun to your head and forced his way into your house? GEORGE That's right. He told me he'd blow my brains out if I tried anything. I was terrified. DANIALS I'm sure you were. What happened next? GEORGE Then he poured a whole box of Wheaties down his mouth. DANIALS The whole box? Jesus. GEORGE Started knocking things off shelves. Rubbing mud all over my couch. DANIALS I see... Danials writes down the information before pursuing the line of questioning. DANIALS (CONT'D) What did your assailant look like? GEORGE He was wearing brown Dockers and Reeboks, he had a crucifix tattooed on his right arm, yellow eyes, he was green on top, and sort of off white underneath. DANIALS His shirt? GEORGE Hmm? DANIALS His shirt was green and white? GEORGE No, his scales. DANIALS Pardon? GEORGE His scales. They were dark green on top and then tapered off into an off-white around his belly. DANIALS Uhh... GEORGE I'd say he was a good...oh, 9 feet long, including the tail. DANIALS He had a tail? GEORGE Of course he did. DANIALS And scales? GEORGE Yep. DANIALS Sir, I'm confused. GEORGE What about? DANIALS It sounds like you're describing some sort of...reptile... GEORGE Sure am. DANIALS I'm interviewing you about the man who broke into your house. GEORGE And? Danials flips closed his notebook and pockets it along with his pen. DANIALS I feel like there's a little bit of disconnect we're having here. GEORGE Did you forget me telling you he was a crocodile? DANIALS You told me that? GEORGE First thing I said when you walked through my front door. I ran up and screamed: "Crocodile!" right in your face, How could you have forgotten that? DANIALS No. No, I remember that. I thought you were just in shock. GEORGE Of course I was in shock, how many times does a man find himself burgled by a goddamn crocodile? DANIALS Burgled? GEORGE He burgled me! DANIALS Burgled. GEORGE It means: to burglarize. I'd think a cop would know that. DANIALS I don't work for Scotland Yard. This isn't 18th century London, alright? It's fucking Fairfield. And I don't like your back-talk. Danials retrieves his badge from a pocket and shows it to George. DANIALS (CONT'D) Now from here on out, I'm gonna need you to respect this, you got that? He points at the badge. GEORGE I think you need to respect the fact that It's your job to arrest this son of a bitch and find my Playstation! DANIALS Playstation? He took your Playstation? That's what I'm doing here? Looking for a Crocodile with a stolen PlayStation? GEORGE Stuffed it in a burlap sack and ran off down the street. DANIALS Didn't you say he was wearing dockers? GEORGE Yep. DANIALS I was unaware that dockers catered to the crocodile demographic. GEORGE He had the legs of a man. Danials raises an eyebrow, and stares at George in bewilderment. DANIALS The legs... GEORGE Of a man. Yep. DANIALS Man legs? GEORGE Indeed. DANIALS On a crocodile. GEORGE That is correct. DANIALS So it was like a part man... GEORGE Part crocodile. DANIALS Legs of a man... GEORGE Body of a crocodile. DANIALS And his arms? GEORGE They were kind of in between. Danials takes a deep breath, and nods to himself as though coming to a conclusion. DANIALS I think- GEORGE It was like a...Man-o-dile... DANIALS I think we're done here. Danials turns to walk toward the door. George leaps in front of him, barring the exit. GEORGE What about my PlayStation?! DANIALS Nobody gives a shit about PlayStation's. There have been two PlayStation's since PlayStation, do you realize that? GEORGE None of those PlayStation's have Spyro. DANIALS They do, actually. GEORGE Original Spyro. DANIALS You can play Playstation 1 games on Playstation 2. GEORGE I don't have a Playstation 2! DANIALS You don't have a Playstation. GEORGE I did until that crocodile stole it from me! DANIALS You mean burgled it from you? GEORGE I want my goddamn Playstation back! DANIALS PlayStation's don't even cost money anymore, just get a new one. GEORGE What kind of cop are you? Would you tell a man who'd just been stabbed: "Well, why don't you just get not stabbed?" DANIALS What? GEORGE I've been wronged, and you have to do something about, or I'll call the police station and- DANIALS Tell them a Crocodile with human legs stole your PlayStation? GEORGE A manodile. DANIALS What? GEORGE A manodile. Danials stares. GEORGE (CONT'D) That's what we're calling it. DANIALS A manodile? GEORGE Get it? DANIALS Yeah. Yeah, I get it. Danials shakes his head and sighs deeply. GEORGE So, like I was saying, he grabbed my PlayStation, bit my dog in half, pulled his dockers down and took a shit on my floor before he ran off out the door. DANIALS Oh, so that's what that's doing there. Danials gestures to pile of shit plopped on the living room floor a few feet to their side. George looks to the shit, turns back to Danials, and nods. GEORGE Yep. DANIALS That is a tremendous pile of shit. George shrugs. GEORGE It was a big manodile. DANIALS Let's stop using the word "manodile", shall we? GEORGE Well that's what we're talking about. DANIALS That's what you're talking about, but in reality there are no manodiles. GEORGE Then who bit my dog in half? DANIALS Dog in half? EXT. BACK-YARD - DAY A half a dog lays in the grass in George's back-yard. Small, white. Like a corgi poodle mix. It would have been adorable if it had its other half. And wasn't dead. The dog's guts are spilled out, flies buzzing around it, blood stained tufts of fur gently sway in a slight breeze. Danials and George stand and look. DANIALS ...Gross... GEORGE See! I told you! DANIALS Sir, I'm willing to turn a blind eye to your apparent bisecting of your dog on the condition that you just drop this manodile business once and for all and never contact the police for any reason ever again, whatsoever. Okay? GEORGE It was the manodile! DANIALS There are no manodiles! How could there be a manodile?! GEORGE It could have escaped from the zoo. DANIALS There are no zoo's nearby that house Manodiles, of that I am certain. GEORGE Probably because they've all broken free. DANIALS Doubtful. GEORGE They're very resourceful. DANIALS They don't- GEORGE Always bet on manodile! DANIALS Exist. GEORGE Hmm? DANIALS You made them up. GEORGE I- DANIALS I think none of what you said happened. You know why? Because I can actually see a PlayStation over in that cabinet over there, through the door. Danials points at the PlayStation through the glass doors. It sits under the TV, two controllers lying on the floor in front of it. George turns and looks at it for a moment, then turns back around to face Danials. GEORGE That's my back-up PlayStation. DANIALS I also think you shit on your own floor. GEORGE You think I bit my dog in half too? Look at the jaw radius! DANIALS Sir, I want you to take a look at my face, and tell me how many fucks you think I give? George squints, intently studying Danials' disdainful expression. GEORGE Four? DANIALS None. Not one. Good day, to you, sir. GEORGE But- DANIALS I may be taking measures to have you institutionalized. Just FYI. Danials turns and walks away. George shouts after him, waving his fist in the air. GEORGE That scaly, green, hoodlum is probably playing Kingdom Hearts on my PlayStation in some manodile crack den in the bayou, and I'm not gonna stand for it! DANIALS Kingdom Hearts wasn't on the original Playstation. EXT. SIDEWALK - DAY Danials has exited the front door of the house and walked down to the side-walk where his car was parked and is now not parked. He looks up and down the street, but it is nowhere in sight. DANIALS What the fuck?! A man runs over to Danials from the house next door. NEIGHBOR Hey, man, was that your car? DANIALS Yeah, did you see what happened to it? NEIGHBOR Someone took it. DANIALS What did they look like? NEIGHBOR Well, I couldn't tell from the distance I was at, but he looked like he was wearing Dockers. DANIALS Dockers? NEIGHBOR Yeah. And a reeboks. DANIALS Dockers and reeboks? NEIGHBOR Yeah...and he was a crocodile. That struck me as a little odd. Danials looks away from the neighbor and stares down the road, a grim look upon his face. DANIALS Motherfucker.