Tag Archives: Dinosaur

Vengeance of the Space Dinosaur: Spaceosaur kills! – Early Draft

   EXT. EARTH - DAY
               A scenic landscape, a comet descends from the heavens
               crashing into the country-side creating a glowing mushroom
               cloud and a tremendous shock-wave.

               EXT. OUTSIDE - DAY

               A young couple picnics in the hills, the woman is pregnant.

                                   GUY
                         Well you know you're not supposed
                         to ride roller-coasters when you're
                         pregnant.

                                   GIRL
                         That's absurd, children love roller
                         coasters.

               The SPACEOSAUR erupts into the scene. He smooshes the man's
               head to death with his space reeboks, blood sprays all over
               the pregnant lady and fucking everywhere as she screams. The
               Spaceosaur turns to the girl.

                                   PREGNANT LADY
                         Don't hurt my baby!

               The Spaceosaur sinks his claws into her uterus and tears her
               fetus from her stomach, the woman dies as she watches The
               Spaceosaur feasting upon her unborn child.

               INT. SUBMARINE - SUBMARINE

               GENERAL ROGER approaches COMMANDER THOR LASERPUNCH.

                                   GENERAL ROGER
                         Thor! Scanners have discovered an
                         extraterrestrial entity operating
                         in sector P-42. We need you to
                         track it down and eliminate it. 

               Thor shoots General Roger in the leg.

                                   THOR LASERPUNCH
                         That's Commander Laserpunch to you,
                         general douche-dick. 

               General Roger limps away crying. Thor gears up, preparing for
               battle.

               EXT. STREETS - DAY

               MASTER ROBOT exits his car-spaceship on the streets of a
               city. He is immediately approached by a homeless man, seeking
               change. 

                                   BUM
                         Got any spare change?

                                   MASTER ROBOT
                         The only thing I can spare... is
                         lasers.

               Master Robot removes his laser-caster and destroys the
               homeless man. He walks away. He's wearing sunglasses. 

               EXT. HILLS - DAY

               The Spaceosaur stomps around like a dinosaur. And growls and
               shit. Um. He finds a puppy walking around he bends down to
               pet it, then he picks it up and puts it in his spaceosaur
               jaws. Puppy blood stains the hills crimson. Spaceosaur roars
               to the heavens as he holds the dead puppy aloft in a clenched
               and bloodstained fist.

               EXT. WILDERNESS - DAY

               Thor Laserpunch tracks the Spaceosaur to the scene of the
               picnic slaughter. He eats one of the blood spattered
               sandwiches for lunch. A laserbeam zooms through the air by
               his head.

                                   THOR LASERPUNCH
                         Jesus FUCK!

               Thor whirls around, drawing his side-arm. In front of him now
               stands Master Robot. They aim their weapons at one and other.

                                   THOR LASERPUNCH (CONT'D)
                         Who the fuck are you?!

                                   MASTER ROBOT
                         Master Robot!

               MORE LASERS! Thor dodges them, and fires his pistol hitting
               Master Robot in the chest. The bullets have no effect. Master
               Robot fires yet more lasers.

                                   THOR LASERPUNCH
                         Stop shooting lasers at me!

                                   MASTER ROBOT
                         No.

                                   THOR LASERPUNCH
                         So I take it you're the alien.

                                   MASTER ROBOT
                         No, you're the alien!

                                   THOR LASERPUNCH
                         Bullshit, you're an alien.

                                   MASTER ROBOT
                         No, you are.

                                   THOR LASERPUNCH
                         You're on my planet!

                                   MASTER ROBOT
                         Your planet is an alien, too!

                                   THOR LASERPUNCH
                         How dare you!

               They continue exchanging fire.

                                   THOR LASERPUNCH (CONT'D)
                         Did you eat this baby?!

                                   MASTER ROBOT
                         No, it was the Spaceosaur.

                                   THOR LASERPUNCH
                         I'm after the Spaceosaur, too. Why
                         don't we work together?

                                   MASTER ROBOT
                         Ok.

               They both put their weapons away and shake hands.

                                   MASTER ROBOT (CONT'D)
                         I'm Master Robot, as I said
                         earlier. You are?

                                   THOR LASERPUNCH
                         Thor Laserpunch!

                                   MASTER ROBOT
                         Nice to meet you.

                                   THOR LASERPUNCH
                         You too.

                                   MASTER ROBOT
                         Wanna burn a J?

                                   THOR LASERPUNCH
                         Of course I do.

               EXT. HILLS - DAY

               Two dudes sit on the tailgate of a pick-up, slamming beers.

                                   DUDE 1
                         A couch, a refrigerator box and a
                         tarp. That's all I need.

                                   DUDE 2
                         I like to put paprika on my brown
                         rice, spice it up a bit.

                                   DUDE 1
                         I'm going to pee somewhere far
                         away.

                                   DUDE 2
                         I know it seems gay, but something
                         about my neighbors dog just does it
                         for me.

               EXT. EARTH - DAY

               Dude 1 walks a distance from Dude 2, he unzips he pants and
               commences urination. A sickening chomping sound is heard,
               Dude 1 looks down to see THE FUCKING SPACEOSAUR TOTALLY
               BITING HIS DICK OFF! And blood is spraying fucking
               EVERYWHERE! Dick blood. The darkest shade of blood.

                                   DUDE 1
                         My dick! MY DICK! A DINOSAUR IS
                         EATING MY DICK!

               Dude 1 falls over, dead from de-dickification. 

               EXT. OUTSIDE - DAY

               Dude 2 sits and drinks more beer. The Spaceosaur approaches.
               Dude 2 turns and looks at it.

                                   DUDE 2
                         Holy shit, a fucking dinosaur!

               Dude 2 tries to run but the Spaceosuar grabs him and hurls
               him into the truck, exploding his fucking head like a melon
               filled with human brains. Everywhere.

               EXT. HILLS - DAY

               Master Robot and Thor Laserpunch sit smoking a doobie.

                                   THOR LASERPUNCH
                         So why do they call you Master
                         Robot?

                                   MASTER ROBOT
                         Because I AM the master robot.

                                   THOR LASERPUNCH
                         Right on.

               Screaming is heard from the distance.

                                   THOR LASERPUNCH (CONT'D)
                         Did you hear that?

                                   MASTER ROBOT
                         Of course I did, my ears are robot.

                                   THOR LASERPUNCH
                         Is it the Spaceosaur?

               Master Robot nods.

                                   THOR LASERPUNCH (CONT'D)
                         Lets rock n' roll this mother
                         fucker!

               Master Robot and Commander Thor Laserpunch do a jump-five and
               run towards the source of the screams.

               EXT. OUTSIDE - DAY

               Thor and Master Robot find the dickless Dude 1, lying in the
               dirt in a pool of his own crotch-blood. Dead. Then they find
               Dude 2's fucking exploded head by the truck.

                                   MASTER ROBOT
                         Holy cock, this Spaceosaur has a
                         thirst for murder beyond that of
                         any Spaceosaur I've ever
                         encountered before this Spaceosaur.

               SPACEOSAUR jumps out and punches Thor right in his fucking
               head!

                                   THOR LASERPUNCH
                         Holy shit!

               Master Robot draws his laser beam gun and takes aim.

                                   MASTER ROBOT
                         LASER FUCK!

               He shoots lasers at the Spaceosaur but the lasers have no
               effect. He must resort to break-dance fighting. They fight
               while Thor collects himself. Spaceosaur bitch-slaps Master
               Robot to the ground. Thor aims his fucking MACHINE GUN at the
               SPACEOSAUR and opens fire.

                                   THOR LASERPUNCH
                         Burn in space-hell, fuck-ass!

               The bullets have no effect. Thor abandons his gun. Thor and
               Master Robot briefly fight the Spaceosaur, but the power of
               the Spaceosaur is too great. He drops Thor with a left hook
               to the liver, before turning and slapping Master Robots head
               right the fuck off. He then walks to Thor and hacks him to
               balls with a Samurai Sword. 

               The Spaceosaur stands, arms raised in victory. But then THE
               WIZARD is all like--

                                   WIZARD
                         Wizard POWER!

               The Wizard kills the shit out of the Spaceosaur with Wizard
               lightening.

                                   NARRATOR (V.O.)
                         Wizard POWER!

                                   WIZARD
                         They sent me from Wizard Planet.

               A Space Ship flies and shoots laser-beams at The Wizard, but
               the Wizard shoots Wizard-Beams and destroys the Space-ship.

                                   WIZARD (CONT'D)
                         Wizard POW-

               The Wizard is cut off when the SPACEOSAUR returns as ZOMBIE
               SPACEOSAUR and garrotes that dirty fucking wizard to death.
               Spaceosaur raises his arms in victory once more.

                                   NARRATOR (V.O.)
                         SPACEOSAURAS!
 


Script created with Final Draft by Final Draft, Inc.
Tagged , , , , , , , , ,