EXT. EARTH - DAYA scenic landscape, a comet descends from the heavens crashing into the country-side creating a glowing mushroom cloud and a tremendous shock-wave. EXT. OUTSIDE - DAY A young couple picnics in the hills, the woman is pregnant. GUY Well you know you're not supposed to ride roller-coasters when you're pregnant. GIRL That's absurd, children love roller coasters. The SPACEOSAUR erupts into the scene. He smooshes the man's head to death with his space reeboks, blood sprays all over the pregnant lady and fucking everywhere as she screams. The Spaceosaur turns to the girl. PREGNANT LADY Don't hurt my baby! The Spaceosaur sinks his claws into her uterus and tears her fetus from her stomach, the woman dies as she watches The Spaceosaur feasting upon her unborn child. INT. SUBMARINE - SUBMARINE GENERAL ROGER approaches COMMANDER THOR LASERPUNCH. GENERAL ROGER Thor! Scanners have discovered an extraterrestrial entity operating in sector P-42. We need you to track it down and eliminate it. Thor shoots General Roger in the leg. THOR LASERPUNCH That's Commander Laserpunch to you, general douche-dick. General Roger limps away crying. Thor gears up, preparing for battle. EXT. STREETS - DAY MASTER ROBOT exits his car-spaceship on the streets of a city. He is immediately approached by a homeless man, seeking change. BUM Got any spare change? MASTER ROBOT The only thing I can spare... is lasers. Master Robot removes his laser-caster and destroys the homeless man. He walks away. He's wearing sunglasses. EXT. HILLS - DAY The Spaceosaur stomps around like a dinosaur. And growls and shit. Um. He finds a puppy walking around he bends down to pet it, then he picks it up and puts it in his spaceosaur jaws. Puppy blood stains the hills crimson. Spaceosaur roars to the heavens as he holds the dead puppy aloft in a clenched and bloodstained fist. EXT. WILDERNESS - DAY Thor Laserpunch tracks the Spaceosaur to the scene of the picnic slaughter. He eats one of the blood spattered sandwiches for lunch. A laserbeam zooms through the air by his head. THOR LASERPUNCH Jesus FUCK! Thor whirls around, drawing his side-arm. In front of him now stands Master Robot. They aim their weapons at one and other. THOR LASERPUNCH (CONT'D) Who the fuck are you?! MASTER ROBOT Master Robot! MORE LASERS! Thor dodges them, and fires his pistol hitting Master Robot in the chest. The bullets have no effect. Master Robot fires yet more lasers. THOR LASERPUNCH Stop shooting lasers at me! MASTER ROBOT No. THOR LASERPUNCH So I take it you're the alien. MASTER ROBOT No, you're the alien! THOR LASERPUNCH Bullshit, you're an alien. MASTER ROBOT No, you are. THOR LASERPUNCH You're on my planet! MASTER ROBOT Your planet is an alien, too! THOR LASERPUNCH How dare you! They continue exchanging fire. THOR LASERPUNCH (CONT'D) Did you eat this baby?! MASTER ROBOT No, it was the Spaceosaur. THOR LASERPUNCH I'm after the Spaceosaur, too. Why don't we work together? MASTER ROBOT Ok. They both put their weapons away and shake hands. MASTER ROBOT (CONT'D) I'm Master Robot, as I said earlier. You are? THOR LASERPUNCH Thor Laserpunch! MASTER ROBOT Nice to meet you. THOR LASERPUNCH You too. MASTER ROBOT Wanna burn a J? THOR LASERPUNCH Of course I do. EXT. HILLS - DAY Two dudes sit on the tailgate of a pick-up, slamming beers. DUDE 1 A couch, a refrigerator box and a tarp. That's all I need. DUDE 2 I like to put paprika on my brown rice, spice it up a bit. DUDE 1 I'm going to pee somewhere far away. DUDE 2 I know it seems gay, but something about my neighbors dog just does it for me. EXT. EARTH - DAY Dude 1 walks a distance from Dude 2, he unzips he pants and commences urination. A sickening chomping sound is heard, Dude 1 looks down to see THE FUCKING SPACEOSAUR TOTALLY BITING HIS DICK OFF! And blood is spraying fucking EVERYWHERE! Dick blood. The darkest shade of blood. DUDE 1 My dick! MY DICK! A DINOSAUR IS EATING MY DICK! Dude 1 falls over, dead from de-dickification. EXT. OUTSIDE - DAY Dude 2 sits and drinks more beer. The Spaceosaur approaches. Dude 2 turns and looks at it. DUDE 2 Holy shit, a fucking dinosaur! Dude 2 tries to run but the Spaceosuar grabs him and hurls him into the truck, exploding his fucking head like a melon filled with human brains. Everywhere. EXT. HILLS - DAY Master Robot and Thor Laserpunch sit smoking a doobie. THOR LASERPUNCH So why do they call you Master Robot? MASTER ROBOT Because I AM the master robot. THOR LASERPUNCH Right on. Screaming is heard from the distance. THOR LASERPUNCH (CONT'D) Did you hear that? MASTER ROBOT Of course I did, my ears are robot. THOR LASERPUNCH Is it the Spaceosaur? Master Robot nods. THOR LASERPUNCH (CONT'D) Lets rock n' roll this mother fucker! Master Robot and Commander Thor Laserpunch do a jump-five and run towards the source of the screams. EXT. OUTSIDE - DAY Thor and Master Robot find the dickless Dude 1, lying in the dirt in a pool of his own crotch-blood. Dead. Then they find Dude 2's fucking exploded head by the truck. MASTER ROBOT Holy cock, this Spaceosaur has a thirst for murder beyond that of any Spaceosaur I've ever encountered before this Spaceosaur. SPACEOSAUR jumps out and punches Thor right in his fucking head! THOR LASERPUNCH Holy shit! Master Robot draws his laser beam gun and takes aim. MASTER ROBOT LASER FUCK! He shoots lasers at the Spaceosaur but the lasers have no effect. He must resort to break-dance fighting. They fight while Thor collects himself. Spaceosaur bitch-slaps Master Robot to the ground. Thor aims his fucking MACHINE GUN at the SPACEOSAUR and opens fire. THOR LASERPUNCH Burn in space-hell, fuck-ass! The bullets have no effect. Thor abandons his gun. Thor and Master Robot briefly fight the Spaceosaur, but the power of the Spaceosaur is too great. He drops Thor with a left hook to the liver, before turning and slapping Master Robots head right the fuck off. He then walks to Thor and hacks him to balls with a Samurai Sword. The Spaceosaur stands, arms raised in victory. But then THE WIZARD is all like-- WIZARD Wizard POWER! The Wizard kills the shit out of the Spaceosaur with Wizard lightening. NARRATOR (V.O.) Wizard POWER! WIZARD They sent me from Wizard Planet. A Space Ship flies and shoots laser-beams at The Wizard, but the Wizard shoots Wizard-Beams and destroys the Space-ship. WIZARD (CONT'D) Wizard POW- The Wizard is cut off when the SPACEOSAUR returns as ZOMBIE SPACEOSAUR and garrotes that dirty fucking wizard to death. Spaceosaur raises his arms in victory once more. NARRATOR (V.O.) SPACEOSAURAS!
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