Tag Archives: wizard

Pete: Wizard for Hire


               A cell-phone alarm goes off, PETE the Wizard laboriously
               awakes to the sound. He shuts the Alarm off, then promptly
               vomits into a trash-can. He washes the taste of vomit out
               with mouth-wash, which he swallows and chases with Vodka.

               EXT. DRIVEWAY - DAY

               Pete gets into his car, lights a cigarette, puts on his
               Wizard Hat and peels out.

               EXT. BACK-YARD - DAY

               Pete and DAVE stand Dave's back-yard. Behind a nearby fence
               an incessantly barking dog can be heard.

                         He just won't stop. It's impossible
                         for me to get anything done. I'm on
                         like 3 hours of sleep a night
                         because of that thing, I can't

               Pete snaps his fingers. A bolt of lightening descends from
               the heavens, striking the dog behind the fence. There is a
               brief yelp, followed by an explosion of dog-parts. Blood
               spatters Dave's face, who stares at Pete. Pete holds out his

                         50 bucks.

               EXT. PARKING LOT - DAY

               Pete stands across from a man holding a prescription pill
               bottle. Pete hands him the 50 bucks and takes the pills.


               Pete walks around town, brown-bagging a bottle of liquor. He
               downs some pills and drinks and smokes in a park as children
               play soccer near by.

               A soccer ball flies through the air, striking Pete in the
               head. Some little kids run up to grab it, but he lights it on
               fire with his Wizard Power and they run off screaming.

               Pete uses Wizard power to make a someone fall off their bike.

               Pete uses wizard power to make a bag of leaves he picked up
               off the ground look like pot, then sells it to a pack of
               middle-school kids and pockets their cash.

               Pete gets into bed. It's 2:30 in the afternoon. He polishes
               off the pills, washing them down with a sip of vodka. He uses
               his Wizard powers to turn out the lights before passing out.
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